Eating out everyday, hang out till the last train depart, involve in intensive conversation everynight with various persons, this is my way to overcome the difficult moment, in face, negative thinking comes when i settle down and remain home. You really cannot help to stop the thoughts, so date out, get busy, and try to occupy yourself as much as possible, i think this would last even longer

Shooting continue, thought there're many appointments getting delayed, this is a bad cycle, that i keep commiting myself into new plans, but my motivation almost consumed and exhausted, so close to the activation date i give up, work in a perssimistic mood or even looking forward to any accidents that may affect the planning. Delay become normal to me, which was never used to be.

Have tried to be ignorant and alienated when i am in fron of the problem, but all the concerns and thoughts have me held back and i behave abnormally, i am never a socialble person or a good actor, i wish i could but pretending to be natural has become such a torment, only time can wash away the boudaries and drag me away from this chaos. I am in fact making myself uneasy and the negative thinking even expand to others. It become so difficult to be one step into someone, the hesitation, the time it takes to study, examine and analyze, and one single event could push away everything, you will not want to repeat again.