Period of frustration and nerves breaking down.
I wonder why I must do the shadowing and I can not drop this time consuming course!!! I know that I always have to try selling myself or leave my arrogance aside, else I will not be able to find anyone helps, but I am really torn, frustrated, puzzled, struggled.... that you know i was not a person that always like to beg people for help! Oh my dear!!!!!
I am worried about my new fine art course cause everyday the weather was freezing and I just can't get out of the bed and reach school at 9.30 punctually. I was late and I sometimes cannot catch the tracks and I don't really know much about the medieval ages and the biblical stories!!!!! I cannot handle book of hours?!!!!! Can I maintain my result?!!! Oh shoot!!!!
I always feel nervous and hurried, that I would like to handle my both German and Italian. If there are any vitamins that could really strengthen my language skill, please introdure to me!!!! Oh I really want to jump from level to level so that I could really specak to a NAT fluently!!!! Holy Jesus Christ I have learnt German for 3 years and I still don't really know how to explain a film story in detail and I still can't explain my doubt to the teacher with fluent grammar and pronounciation!!!! What an idiot I am!!!! And my italian can I really handle it in the coming exam? My severe lackage of Vocabularies is the deadly terrific... pavarotti can't help me cause I can't really understand what he was singing, although I have "so called" learnt Italian for a whole year!! DAMM!!!!And my Japanese, what the fxxk why I always have to test, test, dictation and test?! thousands of words to remember, yet my memory became weaker and weaker, when can i really explain a complete sentence in Japanese? Shall I continue or just give this damm hardship up?!
And my tutoring gosh never stopped.... really want to go straight home everyday after school, study and study and study, but tutoring never stop, and I need that for earning money, paradox, dilema, conflicts, WHO CAN HELP ME?!!! PLEASE don't just talk about entertainment, playing, fooling around, hobbies, FRAULENZEN with me!!!!! PLEASE anyone can you please help me for academic struggles and please find a guy who can teach me GERMAN, ITALIAN and JAPANESE at the same time!!!! DAMM why I can never speak as practical use?!!! NOBODY understand me!!!! HOLY SHIT!! NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!
